Summer Musings ☀️🌿
Mid-year is here and I am READY.
Hi. You will read this newsletter and feel like it has been written in the past.
Yes, I wrote this newsletter at 632 AM and I’m just sending it to you now. Good things take time!
As usual, I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter. I’ll keep on writing between two spin classes, between two clients at work, between a new project and my personal life.
Here’s to a fun summer
It’s currently 632 AM. I woke up an hour ago. The light doesn’t help my sleep cycle. The sun comes out, and my body, like the body of a medieval peasant, wakes up slowly.
Unfortunately, I am not a medieval peasant from old times. I’m a woman who lives in a city and who has a 9-to-5 job. Well… more of a contract. I’ve gone into freelancing, and I like it. It’s not the most stable, but I’ve been working on a variety of projects, and my clients have been quite major ones.
Three months ago (exactly), I wrote my last newsletter. I’m disappointed. I’ve been wanting to write more, but I haven’t found the time. I returned to work four days after that last newsletter. I’ve been working full-time, with some overtime. I’m not complaining. I’m actually loving it. Never in my life have I felt so accomplished in my work. Okay, I still have moments of self-doubt, but it’s been okay… mostly.
Anyway, to sum up, I haven’t been writing. But it’s not because I’m depressed or anything. I haven’t had a chance to do it lately. Or I did, but not in the context of this newsletter. I’ve been writing for clients, for my work, for anyone, but for this newsletter. I kinda dreaded coming back to it. I had a ton of subjects lined up, but I just… didn’t find the words—blank page. My mind would go blank when I tried to write about them.
This morning, when I woke up because of the light outside, I began reading letters and texts I had sent a year ago. Texts, letters, and essays that captured my state of mind at the time. I reread this newsletter as well. Where was I a year ago?
As I read everything that got out of my system last year, it felt so surreal. Here I was, lying in my bed, thinking about a time that didn’t exist anymore. At least, to me, it didn’t exist. I had moved on. And this summer, I’ve never been this much present, in the moment, than now.
Summer started a week ago, and I’ve never been this excited. I bought myself at least seven pairs of boxer shorts to enjoy the weather; I’ve promised myself to tan and live in the present this summer. I don’t want to think about what’s coming up. Okay, I have a trip coming up to London and Copenhagen, but for now, I want to focus on what's right in front of me.
And let’s list what's coming up right now for the summer…
Shows. Lots of shows. From Men I Trust, Turnstile, strongboi… it just doesn’t stop.
Book Club. I’m now part of a book club and have finally established a reading routine, which brings me happiness.
The Tiny Porch. I completely revamped my front porch with a couch, lights, vegetables, fresh herbs… I now call it the tiny porch. People come and sit there for hours, or I sit there for hours, reading.
Prepping a trip. I’ll be leaving for London and Copenhagen for three weeks in the fall, and I’ve been slowly prepping for the journey by listing places I’d like to see.
Tanning. Last year, I didn’t take any colour. This year, I’ve already tanned a bit. Will do so all summer.
Spinning. I’m happily back spinning every week. Once a week for now. Trying to increase my frequency slowly but surely.
New experiences. I’m trying out new things. Signing up for new experiences, eating new things…
I haven’t planned my summer the way I usually do. I no longer have the energy or the willingness to do it. I have more energy than ever, but less for overplanning and overstacking. If I’m not feeling it, it won’t happen. And mostly, my patience for bullshit is now next to zero, so I don’t have time to entertain what I don’t want to engage with.
I recently asked a friend what it felt like turning 35. They said they loved it. They loved aging. I love aging too. I am 34 years old, and I’ve never felt this aligned in everything I do. I accept my shortcomings, I know I won’t always be perfect, but I’m okay with that. I cannot please everyone, and I try to be okay with that. I’ve written about radical acceptance. I’m still trying hard to do that: radically accept what’s been going on.
In the meantime, I’m making starter packs of myself during the summer. I’m eating tomatoes. I'm buying myself pairs of boxers because I want to wear boxer shorts. Buying clothes that show off my body rather than hiding it. I'm tanning because I didn’t tan at all last year. I listen to music and enjoy newfound favourites like Lorde. I finally got into her music, just about now. And it’s pretty easy. With lyrics like those in 'Hammer,' I feel seen and recognized.
Summer 2025 Ins and Outs
I’ve been having a hard time making my In and Out list for this summer. I think I’ve started at least 10 of them and forgotten them in my notes app. Since I’ve been abandoning my list midway, I think I’ve finally settled on my in and outs.
IN: Not having an Ins and Outs list
OUT: Having an Ins and Outs list.
Ok, but I’ll be honest, in my IN list, there are tomatoes. Like every year. Everything Tomato. And maybe hanging out with friends, but that’s always an IN, right?
Maybe less being ruled by lists, more being ruled by you.
Cool girls don’t get ruled by lists, anyway.
Until next time,
xo
Y.