"Maybe if I play a game of WNRS" and other lies I've told myself this week...
Millennial New Age and anxiety has gotten to me.
I’ve been looking into buying We’re Not Really Strangers - WNRS - for a while now.
I could skip this, to be honest. It’s an expense I don’t need to add to my never ending list of expenses. But, recently I’ve been tempted to actually buy a copy of the game for myself. Maybe as a way to cope with the pandemic, maybe as a way to better understand the people I’m spending time with, maybe as a way to have something to do during dates…
Yes. It’s been pretty boring dating during the pandemic. Trying to find something to do with the constraints we are living in right now is way more of a challenge. Add to this whole thing a curfew, the harsh Montréal winter and you get a recipe for total failure and anxiety.
My interest in WNRS came from watching the Instagram stories made about the game by my friend Élodie. She sometimes share prompts written on the cards. Things like…
When was the last time you felt lucky to be you?
What are you overthinking right now?
Élodie talks about this game as a way to discover more about all relationships in her life, even friendships. It gets you to get deeper into the other person, getting to know them better. I like knowing someone better. I often feel stuck on the first layer, always wanting to know more, to exchange more. I enjoy asking questions, getting to know the people around me and their stories. The stories are why I am a writer and if a game can open up people to actually share, I’m all in for it. I actually like to play the “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love” game on my first dates. It’s a good barometer to actually know if the other person is daunting, adventurous, open to anything or if they are closed minded, stuck to their perception of the world and how things should work. I honestly thought that WNRS must be the same until I pushed my thinking further.
I read about the game and its purpose according to its creator, Koreen Odiney. In an interview with Forbes, she said the following about WNRS and how it was even more popular during quarantine.
It’s about reconnecting with ourselves and others — we can't necessarily go out and meet a bunch of new people right now, but we can strengthen those bonds more than ever right now, with the people in our lives.
These words feel familiar, as if I read them in a self-help book or heard them so many times through Ted Talks. Things we hear from self-declared “life coaches” or “spiritual advisors”, things we read on Instaslides and try to share for “self-care” and “self-realization”. These words feel great, those affirmations make us feel safe, complete, understood. The same way Astrology made a comeback for us to connect through our personality and flaws differently. Being an Aquarius and finally getting understood by others never felt so right.
I think I’m trying to make a point here. We adapted psychology to our generation by integrating it into New Age spirituality and self-care, as if we needed to believe that we didn’t lack certain things or we didn’t grew up in a society that fucked us up a bit. Our Millennial New Age is deeply rooted in insecurities and miscommunication between each other. It is rooted in misunderstandings and deceptions. It is rooted in the need for us to understand each other better rather than staying at this first level in a world that works through algorithms to connect us. As if, we need question games, astrology and instaslides to get closer to each other, more vulnerable, more true to ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, I do love these things. I love Astrology, it makes me even understand those around me and myself better. I love those games we can play to get to know each other, and yes, those self-care, self-improvement Instaslides are part of my everyday; I share them to my friends and read them. I do tarot readings to my friends and myself. I do witchy rituals that I find empowering and feminist. But, even if I’m basically part of this New Age and play a role in this by sharing and practicing, I’m still questioning myself on its purpose. Am I able to connect with someone without this? Am I able to form bonds without playing games or trying to understand someone through Astrology? Am I able to share my thoughts and feelings without going through Instagram posts about self-love and self-care? Do I have to read tarot to take a decision guided by the Spirits? To feel better and take a direction in my life, do I really need to practice ancien witchcraft and call myself a witch?
I think the answer is complex and comes from experience. Mostly I think that in hard times, these rituals, this Millennial New Age is a way for us to make sense of everything. We’re burned out, we’re tired, we are traumatized. We are the PTSD/burnout generation and we need some hope, something that makes us feel like we are in this together. And as long as I feel good about it and I feel connected to it, I’ll still do it, again and again and again.
I guess that’s what my Aquarius Sun wants anyways…
This week’s in “Celebs, they’re just like us!”
I love Phoebe Bridgers. I used to not like her at all, but then, BFF Adam - the only guy I can trust - got me listening to her and since then, I’ve never looked back. So, YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW EXCITED I WAS WHEN I SAW THAT HER NYLON FEATURE WAS TRENDING ON TWITTER.
I started reading it and found it extremely interesting. She became a celebrity while doing everything from her bedroom, she has the same apartment since being 19, she slept through the Grammys nomination announcement and her fanbase makes the truest statement about her.
As I got through the profile and interview, I read about her having a holistic nutritionist who told her that her “resentment is getting smaller”, about her sipping on Moon Juice and her obsession with Erewhon. But then, it appeared. This tiny detail that made her exactly like moi or like most of the women in my life.
Forget about the part where she texts her manager to order skirts cause she doesn’t know where her credit card is - which clearly isn’t my case since my credit card is memorized by Chrome... I was struck by the fact that she googles the crushes who block her, just so she can read their tweets (or look at their Instagram, c’est selon). Celebrities get blocked too? They also experience very complicated relationship? THEY ENCOUNTER FUCKBOIS? THEY ALSO HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES?
We tend to forget that celebrities are still human beings. We think that no one can rebuke them, as if they were foolproof for attention and relationships. And yet, here is Phoebe Bridgers, getting blocked - even if she’s a 10 by my book - by crushes! This little sentence in this amazing profile just struck me and made me feel better. I could be anxious, I could be a little smothering, I could cry my nights away for not having an answer to my texts and yet, I wouldn’t be so different from Phoebe Bridgers. I could hit on Paul Mescal on Twitter and hope for an answer too without looking like a stalker…maybe.
Or maybe hitting on Paul Mescal is exclusive to celebrities.
This week’s listicle is brought to you by anxiety!
Anxiety from work, anxiety from waiting for an answer from Concordia, anxiety from dating, anxiety from the lockdown, anxiety from the government not doing a thing, anxiety from not getting answers to pitches… Anxiety in all its forms was present this week, but let’s dive into what made this week more bearable…
Song of the week.
I’ve been following Rachel Leblanc’s Vanille since 2017 when I met her at the Salon du disque et des arts underground de Montréal. Leblanc is young, talented and was even went viral in 2012 with her brother for covering Sufjan Stevens’ The Predatory Wasp of The Palisades… in her bathroom - cause, you know… better acoustics. Her first album, Soleil ‘96, with Montréal’s Bonbonbon label, is quintessentially influenced by dreampop and garage rock from the 90’s. Leblanc shines through every songs and listening to this little gem of an album is reminiscent of a bright sunny summer day, having a pic-nic with friends in a park while sipping on rosé vin nature and eating pizza and sour candies. All songs are in French, but the vintage/summery feels are nonetheless very bilingual.
Tweet of the week.
This is the only Bernie meme that counts. Because it’s at Théâtre Fairmont and it’s very very relatable.
The one thing I shouldn’t have bought this week.
You already know the answer to this one…
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
Articles I loved to read this week
An interesting profile on Doug Emhoff, the Second Gentleman. - Vox
You should subscribe to…
Glow, the niche newsletter made by candle connaisseur Eve Thomas. Eve literally made me candle obsessed and her writing is exquisite! You’ll never be able to see candles the way you used to after reading her.
À la semaine prochaine!
-xo
Y.