Yea, I know.
No newsletter on Sunday… I’m sorry. I had a lazy week-end. Well, it wasn’t that lazy. I did make Claire Saffitz’s Upside Down Blood Orange and Olive Oil cake.
I sometimes like to bake. I bake to change my mind, to calm down, to have a sense of self. As if, baking brings me back to something more profound. I feel connected to myself when I just take time to chop, measure, make sure all the ingredients are perfectly in harmony together. It takes precision and passion to bake, things that sometimes lack in my everyday life. Precision and passion…
As we are entering February, and we’re 14 days away from my big 3-0, I’m thinking about what lacked during my twenties. Passion is definitely one of those things. I lacked passion, mostly passion for what I was doing or for myself. Everything seemed boring or not stimulating. I’d get over new jobs, new projects, new things in a matter of 4 weeks. I kept on looking for that one thing I would want to do, that one thing that would make me thrive and grow. But, here is the thing : for the longest time, I was with someone who dictated what was actually good for me, what I should do. I was with someone who didn’t like my writing and who told me I was a bad writer.
I believed him and it killed me inside. Can you believe I didn’t write anything for 4 years while with him?
It took me 2 years after our breakup to renew with my writing. It took me 1 more to accept that I was a writer. I wanted to write stories, to tell them, to listen to them. I wanted to talk with people, hear them out, exchange with them. I had to date a journalist who was completely nuts to realize that I might have been interested in him just because he was doing what I always wanted to do.
When I lost my job and when Journalist ghosted me - which happened around the same time, I decided to go after what I wanted; becoming a journalist. I seemed to come back to this at different moments in my life : 18 years old, 21 years old, 25 years old, 27 years old and now, at 29. If I was always considering it, on and on again, if I dated crazy journalists or writers, maybe I was trying to fill the consistent boredom in my life.
And so I applied to Concordia University for the Graduate Diploma in Journalism. I was afraid of being rejected, knowing that the program was one of the most prestigious and highly pursued journalism program of the country.
I was basically trying to get a place in a tiny program, just to get those credentials, to be able to one day work at the CBC or at NPR - can I work at NPR if I am not American ? - What if I wasn’t going to get in…?
Well, the e-mail got into my inbox on Saturday - !!!!!!! - afternoon, directly from the hands - or must I say keyboard - of the Program Director at Concordia.
Dear Yara,
I have reviewed your application to the Graduate Diploma in Journalism Program. Based on your dossier, I am pleased to offer you a place in the 2021-22 cohort. Congratulations! A formal letter of acceptance will be sent to you within the next few days.
I am now a grad student and mostly, a J-school student. I guess that Passion will be the defining trait of my thirties.
Again, I’m so sorry. So very sorry.
I know. I was supposed to talk about dating and my dating life and how it’s going cause I was trying again.
Thing is, I wasn’t very much trying. I got a date with someone, it didn’t really click. Then, I met this other person and… well, it really really clicked. We’ve been dating for 3 weeks now.
And so, yea. This might be the reason why I haven’t done the newsletter this week-end. I was with someone. Sorry. I promised myself that meeting someone wouldn’t get in the way of my writing. It won’t. I’m just trying to navigate this again.
I’ve been single for 3 years and a half, with very poor results. It is so very weird that the only time I decide not to put any efforts in this, well… now it seems to work?
Maybe the secret to being with someone is to not want to meet someone. Then, you meet someone and it’s cool and you’re like… Wait, is this even real?!!?!! And now, you’ve been dating for 3 weeks.
[I did a play on my newsletter title… I’m a dork. At least, I’m a cute dork, a hot dork, an intelligent dork.]
You might hear more about them in this newsletter. But not much, I’ll be honest. There’s some things I like to keep to myself and this part of my life, even if it’s super interesting, is the part I want to keep mostly for me. Cause it is fun to keep some things to ourselves, am I right?
This week’s listicle is brought to you by CHOCOLATE MILK!
I’ve been ordering a chocolate milk jug every week since the beginning of 2021. Why? I do not know, but I like it. I now constantly have chocolate milk in my fridge. It makes me happy.
Song(s) of the week.
This week was a 2-for-1 bonus, so get EXCITED!
Stones Like Eyes - Alicia Clara [2021]
It’s Sarah from Hot Tramp Records who sent me some songs from Alicia Clara, one of her artists. When I listened to Alicia, I knew I had to talk with her, do something with her, push her! Her voice is great, her EP has this über cool dream pop vibe that mixes well with some emo influences. Stones Like Eyes is her third single and it gives a great outlook at her upcoming EP, Outsider/Unusual, that will be released on February 19th. I’ll also be publishing a fun feature about Alicia in CultMTL, so watch out for this!
Emma Beko - Alma feat. Karelle Tremblay
I’ve always been a fan of Heartstreets, one of the rare all-female hip-hop bands of the country. Emma Beko, who’s 50% of Heartstreets, released her first album, Blue, last week and I had to listen to it. Emma evolves with this album and goes beyond what we could expect from her. I don’t want to say much, cause I’ll be reviewing the album for Exclaim! and I want you to read it! That being said… I can say that Emma does party songs for sad kids and I love it.
Tweet of the week
Trevor Kjorlien AKA Plateau Astro saves the day for all of Montréal.
The one thing I shouldn’t have bought this week
Honestly… I haven’t bought much last week. Ok, maybe one thing.
I’m a fan of Matty Matheson. What can I say? Get it here.
Articles I loved to read this week
People are still obsessed by Microsoft’s Zune. - The Verge
The women who brought down Burger Records should forever be remembered. - Los Angeles Times
Have you heard of Clubhouse? How audio is transforming social media. - MIT Technology Review
Your dream job could be your most dreaded job. - Human Parts
The Pandemic made us lose a COMPLETE CATEGORY OF FRIENDSHIP. - The Atlantic
Move out of the way, old Blues. There’s a new sexier Blue in town! - Hyperallergic
You should subscribe to…
Viking’s Choice, the music newsletter of Lars Gotrich, producer at NPRMusic and the mastermind behind my favorite genre of all time, Roséwave. Lars is, yes, an internet friend, but also a great music connaisseur. His newsletter is always surprising and filled with punk, heavy metal, sugar pop, ambient music… I also love his suggestions for Bandcamp Fridays! Check it out!
This is my third newsletter (YAY) and I want to say thanks for following me and subscribing. I’m trying to do things differently. This helps me keep a certain control and routine, while improving my writing a little bit more every time. I’ll cringe when I’ll read these in a year.
But if you like it, can you do me a favor? Can you share it with your friends and ask them to subscribe?
And if you haven’t subscribed, well, time for you to subscribe!
I want to reach more people with my stories and exchange more. I want to gather stories and share them too. So do not hesitate to reach out to me if you want to tell me something or just talk.
À la semaine prochaine!
-xo
Y.